Update

Wow! It's been kind of crazy the last couple months. I haven't blogged in forever! 

For a while I felt like so bad,,, I didn't want to be blogging boo hoo hoo all the time so I just stopped.

As of today, I am 169 lbs according to the Drs scale. That's 85 lbs. (on my home scale I am 164 - I like mine better) I'm doing pretty good now. I'm eating and not having too much pain. I have learned that I have to eat slow!!! Seriously you can't imagine how ridiculously slow and. I have to read labels! 

I will update on something's. I went to the ER a few weeks ago. I had gotten a bug and started diarhea (oh no she didn't just say it - oh yes I did- its the hardcore truth here on my blog). 

That started on a Thursday. It continued thur, fri, sat, into Sunday. I was not able to eat or drink. I called the barbaric unit and spoke w/ the on call surgeon and he told me to come in. As soon as I got to the hospital they were hooking me up with IVs. I got the around 1 and was admitted and in my room by 3:15. My potassium and magnesium were dangerously low, I was severely dehydrated and in danger of other complications! I had what called a banana bag, 5 bags or potassium and 3 bags of magnesium and lord knows how. Many bags of regular IV fluid. It was crazy. Well I was there for 3 days. Turns out I had a.  Virus the normally would've been about 24 hours but my system. Just couldn't get rid of it. I wasn't able to eat and get nutrients. It took about 2.5 weeks to finally get over it!!

So after that craziness .... I started getting constipation issues!! They put me on an antidepressant that is supposed to increase your appetite and cause constipation, yes the DR did this to me on purpose!!! And you can stop taking antidepressants cold turkey. So anyway I saw the DR a couple weeks ago and they were very pleased with my progress. Was also told to keep taking the anti depressant but they let me go Down to a 1/4 of a pill. The side effects were sleepiness, crankiness, and just down right meanness!!! Much better w/ a half. Stuff suffering with constipation... I guess I'll figure this out with time just like everYthing else. 
I've figured out what I can and can't eat. How. Much I can eat and how slow I have to eat and chew chew chew!! These things arent really anything someone can tell you. I've learned everyone is different. Some people can even eat sugar... Not me! I licked frosting on a cupcake ugh was I sick! It's sugar free for me!
So what can I eat?? Everyone asks this, I'm eating a lot of protein bars. Luna are my fav! Chocolate peppermint and white chocolate macadamia nut. They are sweetened with pure cane juice and I tolerate them well. If I eat them too fast I get nauseas so I savor them. :-)
I eat small amounts of chicken, salads, some fruits, cooked veggies, I find vegetarian food is the best! I've had vegan hot dogs and sausage and meatballs. Turkey is good too. Beef and pork NO!!!
I can eat popcorn! For some reason I can eat a lot of popcorn! It takes me an hour but I can eat a personal size bag! And love it!!! 
Mainly just trying to stay healthy - trying to get my 2-3 bottles of water in a day and trying to eat so I don't get sick.
Started exercising again and login it! I'm doing a circuit workout at church. It's not a strenuous on my torn tendon as curves, Zumba, and other aerobic classes have been. I get a great workout at my own level...love it! 

On the mental side of it all.... 
I see the progress in the mirror, I see it in my close but I don't feel it. I don't feel any different. 
I'm not sure if this is normal or not. 
And then there are the times I look in the mirro and don't see it and I look at myself and Im so disgusted. There is skin hanging from my arms and my thighs are huge because of skin. 
In my head I KNOW I'm healthier and look better. I guess it's going to take a while for my head to catch up with my body.
My prayer is that several years from now - I will not have gained the weight back and I will be feeling like a new person and acting like it. I don't want to ever go back to the old eating habits. 
I know I have to eat right and exercise the rest of my life. And take all those supplement! It's really  not that bad! 
I will try to blog again soon to update on how it's going! I see the dr in October sometime, so maybe that will be when I update. 
Thanks for reading my blog! 
K

weeks ago, they were very pleased with my progress and told me to keep taking the antidepressant. I lowered to a 1/4 a pill because it was making me angry and cranky and. Sooooo sooooo sleepy. 

For some crazy reason still have some reflux issues too! I was told that the surgery cures reflux.. I don't get the burning or heartburn feeling any more. It just feels like something is down my throat,  

I have had a few issues with a couple foods,,, I know I can't eat pork yet and milk! I have eaten things with eggs in it but haven't eaten eggs themselves yet since I threw up. I have not tried beef yet and I'm kind of scared to after the pork incident! 

What am I eating LOTS of protein bars!! LUNA are my fans!!! They have a chocolate peppermint and white macadamia nut! Yum! I eat cliff bars and Atkins bars! I have to read every label and make sure no high fructose corn syrup make sure it's only traces of sugar. The more organic and all natural the better! Gluten free is awesome too! I eat salads. Some fruits. No apples :-(

I have some nausea meds I take when I get to feeling yucky. Usually if I eat too much or too fast or get too much protein to quickly.

I am finally exercising again! I still have a torn tendon in my left ankle so I had to be careful what I chose. An awesome chick at church started a circuit type class at church twice . It's great! I can baby my foot and. Still get a great workout! And I know this is key to success! 

 After running curves for so many years I know exercise is important not just for weight loss but over all health! I hope this class keeps going a long time!! I hope to be able to add other exercise

 soon!  (Zumba!!!!!)

I'll share some stuff from the mental side of this..

Overall health wise I'm feeling great

A little about me

My Dad always told me I should be a writer! Hey he told me I would be a great teacher too and now, I am a PE teacher so I thought I would try my hand at a blog. So here Goes.
How about telling my life story....
I was born Sept 28th, 1971.  My mom had a pretty rough road getting me here. From what I understand she married my bio-logical father to get out of her house. So, she marries this guy, he was too young so his parents had to sign. A few months later, my mom is pregnant and being beaten regularly. They were living in his parents house and his mother was mean and verbally abusive. When my mom was about 7 months pregnant with me, she had had enough. She says that she was at a friends house visiting, apparently this friend had a crush on my bio, anyway she didnt leave there soon enough to be home by the time my bio got home. Apparently he showed up at her house and my mom hid in a closet out of fear. This girl leads him right to my mom and he grabbed her by her long hair and drug her home down the street  home and beat her! (I was born with a huge mark from the beating my mother took during pregnancy). From what I understand she had to sneak out a bedroom window.  She packed what she could and threw out the window to one of her sisters and then left. He came after her and my grandfather threatened to shoot him.
So I was born, lived with my mom, her mom and dad and one of her sisters. My grandfather passed away when I was 3 months old. On my grandmothers birthday. I feel I really missed out on knowing him. I have been told he was something of a saint and loved me like crazy, he was a proud grandfather. I know I will meet him someday in heaven!
When I was about 2 my mom married her second husband.  I remember being scared of him. He would scream at me if I didnt finish clear my plate at dinner. I believe this could be what started me weight problem! I remember being very scared because he had such a violent yell. I remember also being alone in the kitchen eating my dinner. He was a drug addict, still is as of last I heard of him.
When I was 5, this is one of my first VIVID memories, my mom did the best thing EVER!!! She left her second husband , whom she had caught sleeping with a friend, for my DAD!! I remember being woke up and walked out to our little hatchback datsun. It was loaded up and it was me mom and the dog. We went and met Johnny that night. I remember we were in an apartment and I slept on a mattress on the floor and there was a snake in a cage on the floor next to me.  From then on things looked up.
My mom had stopped going to church, but after getting with Johnny she started taking us again. she was pro active in helping to get Johnnys son who was in foster care in Florida. we drove to Fl and picked him up. We were in that little hatchback datsun, drove from VA to Fl, picked him up with all of his belongings including a dirt bike, spent one night in Fl and then drove all the way back to VA. I remember being so excited to have a brother I think I kissed him all the way back to VA.  I was so alone being an only child! my brother and I bonded and we were the best of friends there for a while. I was 7 and he was 9.
Soon after we got my brother, my dad became and christian and my brother and I did also. all with in weeks of each other. We got saved. My dad my brother and I were all baptisted together. My Dad turned from smoking and drinking to complete soberness and quit smoking COLD TURKY! He dove into the word of God and became a wonderful loving christian man. He played the guitar and was a song writer. Once he became a christian he started writing Chrisitan music. He and my mom started a gospel music group with some friends from church. We went all over the place watching them sing. Different churches, and functions, and missions. Lots of wonderful memories and good friends from those days. We attended the same church until I was about 11-12. Which was about the same time mom and dad bought the house.
There was some disagreement between my dad and the pastor and so we left that church and went to a new church. It was hard at first but, we quickly got active and met lots of friends and have been attending since. Its been about 27 years now!
More about me now, I rememberin Elementary school I started getting picked on for being fat. I got back and look at the pics and I think what were those kids thinking of!!! really! 5th grade through prob 9th were the absolute WORST. The kids were so mean and so cruel. So, what did I go? Go home and cry everyday and EAT. So by the time I was in the 9th grade I weighed 186lbs. The rest of the girls were just barely weighing over 100. I started playing the flute when I was in the 6th grade and continued through 12th grade. The band was the only place I felt accepted most of the time. It was definately I life saver! and By the way I WAS DARN GOOD!!!!  I LOVED being in the band at school. I lived for marching band season. Its funny because now I sing and so when I tell people I was in the band for years, they always say really?? Yes, I was a band geek! ;-)
I loved every minute of it! There were a few people off and on in the band who would pick on me but, most of them were friends and we traveled to lots of competitions and won lots of trophies together!
So - school days other than band SUCKED!
Had a boyfriend in the 9th/10th grade. he cheated so we broke up. After him I didnt really have a boyfriend again for a while. Dated different guys but not a steady. Then a guy that I had a crush on when I was like 9, he came to our church and at the time I was 17 he mush have been like 27 at the time. Whe I was 9 he was already in the navy and had this cool Mustang! anyway, we started dating and I fell hard. For the guy I remembered when I was a kid. He cheated and then broke my heart. a few weeks later, found out I was pregnant! I was in my senior year of high school! So, yes I still marched in the marching band, finished the marching season and then tranfered to a school for pregnant girls. Had my son in April of my senior year. Took my exams and graduated. I walked with  my class in June of 1990. I was so proud to have had a baby and graduated from high school.
My dad was very insistant that I was going to stay home with him at least my sons first year of life! his bio father denied him and refused any financial help!
In May  of the next year I met my husband! He came to the church. His grandparents were church members and he was stationed in the area and so Sundays he would come to church to see his grandparents. we were in SS together. He got my phone number from our SS teacher, and after me trying to avoid him and think he was a stalker, my mom would lie for me and tell him I wasnt home. We ended up going on a first date and that was it! He had my heart from there! We married in June the next year.
I must go for now - more later......